They see a broken Jar I see a DIY By Saima Bilal

The weather was very lovely and a cool breeze making it more pleasant, birds were chirping, I was enjoying a cup of coffee  in a party at the  lush green lawn of my friend’s place.  All of a sudden, there was a “BANG”  “so who broke that fancy mason jar?” My friend was screaming at both of her kindergarten kids who were playing and the jar hit with their ball. Oh,  this was my favorite jar, now, I have no use of it Meanwhile, her youngest son picked up the broken bottom of the jar which had just lost its half of upper part. He began to fill it with mud and then carefully planted a stem inside it. While the elder one was still being scolded by the his angry Mom. This all, dragged me to think that both the mom and  the eldest one sees a broken Jar though I see a DIY, an amazing useful creation of the broken pieces into a planter by  the little chap. Here, if we relate it to the less pleasant situations of our life we may  see it as DIY rather to  see it the broken or messy side of it.

Being tested  by the nature, is a constant process. Sometimes we win while sometimes we aren’t. At times we got hurt while the other time we succeeded to console ourselves. It’s a natural phenomenon of life which is not in our control. What can we control or how should we respond, leads towards an important role to deal with such situations of our lives.

At the very moment, we always perceive & respond to the situation either positive or  negative. This positive & negative process based on our  experiences, thoughts, habits, society and culture.

We can’t change our experiences, society & culture. Then, what can we change? We can just change ourselves.

People often ask that how can we change ourselves? Or which 1 habit should I have that will help me to be happier?

I replied with one thing only, that is by cultivating your  own “Positive Thinking”.

I have experienced it while I passed through the toughest as well as the happiest moments of my life. I felt that only my thoughts have the power to make and break me and can change the situations of my life. Later,  I realized that tough times are the opportunities to revamp yourself.

What is the Positive Thinking?

Positive thinking is all about the Optimism, Gratitude & Happiness !!

Optimism is a trait that should become more common, judging by Winston Churchill’s famous quote that “a pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.” Optimism has been proven to improve the immune system, prevent chronic disease, and help people to cope with unfortunate news.

Gratitude is associated with optimism and it has been determined that grateful people are always happier, receive more social support, are less stressed and are less depressed. A recent research indicates that optimists and pessimists approach problems differently, and their ability to cope successfully with adversity differs as a result.

Is your glass half-empty or half-full? How you answer this age-old question about positive thinking may reflect your outlook on life, your attitude toward yourself and whether you’re optimistic or pessimistic — and it may even affect your health.

Positive thinking doesn’t mean that you keep your head in the sand like an ostrich and ignore life’s less pleasant situations. Positive thinking just means that you approach unpleasantness and dismal in a far positive and productive manner.  One must think that the best is going to happen & not the worst.

Self Talk

Positive thinking often starts with self talk- give it a break!  Self talk is the endless stream of unspoken thoughts that runs through your head. These automatic thoughts can be positive or negative at times. Some of your self-talk comes from logic and reasoning. The other self-talk may arise from misconceptions that you may create because of lack of information.

Our self-talk is perhaps the most important thing we can change to increase our positive mindset.

Thoughts are like butterflies and words are like a net which captures your thoughts. You can “trick” your brain into the creative, productive state of positivity by shifting your own terms. So instead of saying, “Oh dear, this is going to be painfully hard,” you can say, “All right boys and girls, this is going to be a fun challenge where we’ll probably discover inner resources we don’t even know we have!”

How to cultivate positive thinking?

To cultivate the positive thinking we have to make it our habit. Daily share at least one of the positive thought with your family, friend, colleagues or at least with yourself. It will help to develop your habit of positive thinking.

I’ve found that making this as a habit has encouraged me to look out for positive moments during the day, since I know I’ll need to share one later on. It’s also been a great way to increase my feelings of gratitude, often for everyday things, like a great coffee to start the day or encouragement from a friend.

You can learn to turn negative thinking into positive thinking. The process is simple, but it does take time and practice . You’re creating a new habit, after all. Here are some ways to think and behave in a more positive and optimistic way:

  • Filter: Everyone has experienced that while we face or stuck in a situation, a feeling of good & bad pop up in our mind. Train your brain for a second thought. Think  & than rethink. A cluster of thoughts come to your mind. Filter & pick the most positive thought which comes to your mind .
  • Identify positive thought  Among the cluster of thoughts ,  people are always confused between the positive & negative thoughts. Remember, a thought which soothes you with a feeling of comfort and blinking  a ray of hope, is a positive thought.  It has  a fundamental rule of supporting the law of nature. Positive thought is always unbiased,  never based or supported  for your any malignant or any hidden agenda. It must have a win win solution for all the stakeholders of any particular situation.

Negative thinking is a  syndrome, where you just feel as if you have no inner resources at all and expect the worst. But for most people it tends to grow from a feeling of helplessness. That your efforts will count for nothing because you are at the mercy of “the system” or “the man” or “secret societies” or “vested interests”.

  • Proactive : One powerful thing I’ve learned is that when I have a goal and I notice that little negative feeling pop up,  it’s a sign that I need to be proactive and overcome my limiting beliefs and negative thinking.
  • Train Your Brain.Train your brain to look  at the both sides of the picture. A very simple rule is that always dig something good from bad Periodically during the day, stop and evaluate what you’re thinking. If you find that your thoughts are mainly negative, try to find a way to put a positive spin on them.

Positive thinking must feel true for you. If it doesn’t, then it’s not positive thinking.

  • A great laugh. Have you noticed a face with tears or worries in eyes and a smile together, even in the darkest moments of life. Believe that is the  most beautiful smile  a great laugh of life. That person can’t be defeated by anyone.

Give yourself permission to smile or laugh, especially during difficult times. Seek humor in everyday happenings. When you can laugh at life, you feel less stressed.

  • Organize yourself. Nobody ever promised that the world was aligned to serve your best personal good, but when you take responsibility for EVERY aspect of your life – your health, wealth and relationships for starters, you then see the world as your personal play-DOH, not your cage. And you can create whatever wonderful, colorful constructions out of it you choose, should you choose.

But none of that will ever happen unless you take responsibility for how you create your life, right down to the food you eat, the people you hang out with, the way you spend your leisure time, the thoughts you entertain and swirl around in your head and the words that come out of your mouth.

Any time, you feel tempted to blame others for your state, catch yourself, take the steering wheel  of your life and find a way to steer it all in the direction you choose – if only for a few inches to start.

  • Surround yourself with positive people. All great leaders know that the only way to be effective is to guard furiously what enters their brain. If you surround yourself with whiners and complainers, you will naturally tend to whine and complain – and feel negative.

If, by contrast, you surround yourself with positive people who take responsibility for their lives and don’t mourn their state, you will – by pure association – drop the negative spiral thought habits of blame, shame and complain

  • Practice positive self-talk.Start by following one simple rule: Don’t say anything to yourself that you wouldn’t say to anyone else. Be gentle and encouraging with yourself. If a negative thought enters your mind, evaluate it rationally and respond with affirmations of what is good about you. Think about things you’re thankful for in your life.

Everything you experience in this world cannot be seen  as a punishment of unseen gods, which is how negative people reinforce their mindset, but the utterly free, unearned, unasked for, no-strings-attached gifts of a loving universe.

Life is blowing you a million kisses a day. Catch them !!

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